Jenni Alpert (aka Cami) Singer/Songwriter

Jenni Alpert (aka Cami) Singer/Songwriter

In honor of our Relinquishment, Separation, Adoption and Baby’s Experience Panel, Jenni Alpert (Cami) – Singer, songwriter, guitarist, and pianist joined us to share her personal story around the adoption constellation. Jenni Alpert (Birth name: Cameron, Cami) was born in Los Angeles, CA, and adopted out of the foster care system at the age of four. She started to sing and play piano while staying in various foster homes. With the encouragement and support of her adoptive family, she learned to play the guitar as well and began writing and recording songs early. With her honest rich songwriting and soothing musical melodies, songstress Jenni Alpert’s haunting, powerful, and sultry voice has gained the respect of fans and music tastemakers worldwide. Her emotionally driven songs weave a unique web of eclectic Soul-Americana Pop. As familiar with jazz and Americana as she is pop, Alpert graduated from UCLA in the Ethnomusicology Department after completing a four-year jazz program headed by Kenny Burrell. No stranger to the recording studio, Alpert has released 8 albums and has independently toured over 14 countries with regularity. Upon reuniting with her biological father who was homeless, addicted, and running from the law at the time, yet a musician just like her, a film team decided to make a short documentary entitled Homeless: the Soundtrack directed by Oscar-nominated, Peabody, and Emmy Award-winning documentary film director Irene Taylor Brodsky, produced by Steve and Paula Mae Schwartz about the early stages that unfold the journey of their biological reunion capturing the unique bond they share.

Kimberly Ann Johnson, Somatic Practitioner and Cultural Change Agent

Kimberly is a Sexological Bodyworker, Somatic Experiencing trauma resolution practitioner, yoga teacher, postpartum advocate, birth doula, and single mom. She is the author of Call of the Wild: How We Heal Trauma, Awaken Our Own Power and Use It for Good as well as the early mothering classic, The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions and Restoring Your Vitality, The Fourth Trimester Cards, and The Fourth Trimester Journal. For a decade, she has been helping women heal from birth injuries, gynecological challenges and sexual boundary ruptures. She is the creator of Activate Your Inner Jaguar, an online course ushering thousands of women into their full voices and sexual expression and the host of the Sex Birth Trauma podcast.

A Threefold Path to Heal Birth Trauma

Many women come to heal birth trauma with a few simple statements. One of them is: “I had a baby.” Women and couples who suffer in the aftermath of birth trauma struggle to make sense of how they are feeling and what happened to them, and there are not systems in place to catch these families after birth. This presentation will talk about what happens for families who have birth trauma. The statement, “I had a baby,” then becomes so much more. There are layers and layers to a birth trauma experience. We have found that we name all the layers, and then complete an assessment of the autonomic nervous system, women and couples begin to feel better almost immediately. We propose a three-fold path to healing birth trauma that also includes the baby. Step one is to identify the layers and then find strengths within those layers. The second step is to encourage women and couples to write down the story. The third step is to create a pathway to repair the hurt. This is done with the nervous system of the family with specific messages for the person who has suffered this trauma. Additional skills for helping express and release autonomic nervous system responses will also be presented as time allows.

Trauma Recovery: Repeatedly raped as a young child

Trauma Recovery: Repeatedly raped as a young child

Chronic Symptoms need Prenatal and Perinatal Somatic Dynamics in order to heal

This gut-wrenching story is one of hope, renewal, and faith. All in all, the treatments went on for almost a year—a testament that this type of medicine is a slow-working antidote that aims to reconfigure the underlying neurobiology causing chronic pain, anxiety, and depression. Symptoms are never isolated. When a person seeks treatment for a chronic issue, there is usually always a story that points to their childhood and multiple symptoms they are managing.

So it begins…The Intake

A woman in her early 50s emailed me to ask if she could try craniosacral therapy. Since the onset of the COVID lockdown, she had been experiencing paralysis in her arms and hands at random intervals 2-3 times a week. When the paralysis kicked in, she became overwhelmed with anxiety, pain, and fear. She had started EMDR therapy as a last resort after years of therapy, but after a few months her symptoms seemed to be progressing. Her psychologist was worried that the EMDR therapy was making her symptoms worse and did not know how to help her, so she suggested this form of energetic healing.

I invited her to come in for an intake session. The first 30 minutes entailed listening to her story. Her mother was a severe alcoholic when she was growing up, despite coming from a family of means, her father was unsure how to cope with his wife’s distress when she was diagnosed with cancer when their children were all under the age of 12. Although her mother was very ill for a time, she never passed, rather she lived on into her 70s until she died of emphysema. Growing up, her mother would send her off to spend summers with a family friend. While she stayed with him, he repeatedly raped and brutally assaulted her. Over the years, her siblings knew something was wrong, but no one ever said or did anything. She slipped into a state of depression. Luckily for her, this family friend died in her early teens. She went on to college and became a bit reckless. She met her husband shortly after, only to discover he had weird sexual habits. After years of enduring manipulation and mental abuse from him, he cheated on her with a close friend in a tight-knit community. The shock rocked her and disconnected her from her friends and church family. She had given birth to two children early in her marriage. The birthing experience was traumatic for both deliveries, but she devoted everything she had to them and became very spiritual over the years.

While listening, her body was vibrating, super tight and restricted. Her stomach felt like it was in knots. She had a team of doctors and was taking multiple prescriptions to manage an array of symptoms. Heavy does of Ambien was her only hope for sleep. I helped pace her during the storytelling by calling pauses and allowing emotion to rise and flow in its natural rhythm like a wave peaks and then dissipates. This concept was foreign to her, and took some time to adjust. She had extreme difficulty settling (that would carry on for two months before she could experience her first “settling” in her body). It was difficult for her to not clutch her hands and clench her legs together.

Education of the Autonomic Nervous System and the Role of the Vagus Nerve

I explained to her the states of being that were governing her autonomic nervous system. I explained how the “body keeps the score”—a famous phrase by Peter Levine, the creator of Somatic Experiencing Therapy. I told her that we would have to build out a sense of safety first in her body before we could explore her past trauma. We would focus on the Health in her versus discussing her painful trauma. I explained that she would need to set an Intention for the work. She obviously did not want to feel fear and anxiety. So, I asked what she did want to invite into her life in place of anxiety and fear. This concept was foreign as well, she had only thought about ridding herself of pain and fear. She thoughtfully stated, “I want to feel peace.”

Embodiment Exercises and Path to Healing Earliest Trauma

I asked her to feel three points of contact she was making with her body at that moment in time. This technique is a way to help a person become more present and embodied. She named her butt, her back and her thighs. We continued along this line of inquiry for a few minutes until I noticed she was able to stop clenching her legs against my sofa. I asked her what helps her to settle. “Walking behind my house in the woods.” I asked her to lie on the table, and from there I asked her to describe the woods to me. She painted a picture of the tall evergreen trees. I asked if she ever touched the bark and if so to describe it to me. She could hear the pine needles under her feet and see birds in the trees. The cool air on a sunny, cloudless day filled her sense of being. She enjoyed the open space and the air against her skin. I could sense her body starting to show rigidity and become taut beneath my fingers. Her kidneys felt like rocks energetically and began to throb. I could feel this hardening in my own body. By working to ground myself and track my own cerebrospinal fluid movement, I remained settled and searched for the health and vitality pulsing through her veins. I could sense her vulnerability on the table, so I continued to ask her questions about this scene in the woods and widen my perceptual field. After about 15 minutes, I could sense her body discharging heat and icy cold, it would flip like the toss of a coin.

On her own accord, she revealed that praying helped her to settle. She described a chair in her room where she would always pray. It helped her feel connected to God. I asked her what it felt like in her body when she prayed. She was not sure since she had never thought about it. Becoming aware of your body and felt sensations is the journey to consciousness. I asked her to journal this upcoming week between sessions what she felt in her body when she prayed and what she noticed in her body right before the onset of an anxiety attack when her hands froze. I wanted her to build her body-mind connection, like you would work a muscle in the gym.

Read More About Healing Earliest Trauma on A More Beautiful Life Patreon Channel

Becoming More Alive the Benefits to Craniosacral Therapy

Little did either of us know that ten months of treatment would ensue before she felt capable and free to live her life. The duration of her treatment, she had to remain on disability. After two months of seeing me every week along with her psychiatrist and psychologist, she felt peace in her body for the first time. Eight months after treatment, she could truly feel her legs. She said she had never really felt her legs like she could feel them now. You may not think that feeling your legs is a huge accomplishment. But, you see, her perpetrator would pin her legs down and put a pillow over her face while he raped her. She would try to fight him off but could not move her legs or her arms, she would suffocate under the pillow, helpless, full of rage and fear. Kicking and screaming to no avail. No outcome. Security was robbed from her, a sense of peace violated violently.

Her healing journey took less than a year. It required courage and dedication. Before she got better, she got worse as her memories left her body. But she learned how to express her rage and not suppress her fear and anger. She built a sense of knowing in her body, and how to work her vagal brake. We pendulated between somatic exercises and craniosacral therapy. Each session would bring surprises. We delved into her birth, her deepest needs of her Inner Child. We pulled in Polarity Therapy by Randolph Stone, the Inner Child Journey by Robin Grille, pre and perinatal somatic psychology from my teacher Kate White, and biodynamic craniosacral therapy I learned from Kate Klemer.

Experiencing your Intention

When she was too sick to come to my office, I treated her from afar. At times, she couldn’t even get on a zoom call, so I would work on her remotely with her in my mind’s eye. We walked through the Valley of Death together. She was never alone. When she got activated, we slowed the pace. When she needed time, we integrated. When she felt discouraged, we invoked the presence of God in her body and by her side through meditation and mindfulness. She touched peace and truly experienced it. Now, she has resumed a new career and has a whole new lens on life. I hope she can go on and help others with the wisdom she has gained through her pain. I truly witnessed her journey. She rose from the ashes, transformed.

True Healings Two Chair Method

True Healings Two Chair Method

True healings from Craniosacral therapy

Craniosacral therapy sits on the fringe of alternative healthcare and alludes most people. Because it is an “energetic” healing modality, most people lack understanding of what it is and how it is a form of treatment of the autonomic nervous system, and ultimately every system in the body. In order to provide more clarity to people seeking help, I want to share true stories of how the therapy works, what it looks and feels like, who can receive the most impact from this type of care, and what clients have reported after receiving treatment. Every story is different and unique to the individual, but every account you will read is based on truth and the power of transformation.

How a new mother healed

Hearing the Birth Story

It was early spring, and I received a phone call from a new mother. She had given birth only a month prior to reaching out. She was quite emotional. Her baby was struggling to breastfeed, and she had seen a number of providers. Her pediatrician insisted her baby was fine, but that not all babies breastfeed or latch with success. She saw a lactation consultant who suggested her babe had a tongue-tie and was unable to transfer milk properly due to restriction of tongue movement. She had resorted to Facebook to gain insight on how other mothers were handling tongue-ties. She explained that surgery was truly a last resort for her, she wanted to avoid it at all costs. The baby and her had gone through a very long labor, and she had to have an epidural that didn’t take well. Ultimately, the baby was delivered by a vacuum. Since the birth, neither her nor the baby had slept very consistently. Wrought with anxiety, fear, exhaustion, and despair, she had read the words craniosacral therapy, in a group forum from a mother who said it worked with her child. So, she googled “craniosacral therapy near me” and Voila! My name appeared, so she took a leap of faith.

I spoke to her for about an hour, just listening to her birth story, and stories of her pregnancy. Like most mothers these days, she had very little time, she was a busy woman, and this was her first child. She never gave much thought to her birth plan, and she didn’t expect breastfeeding to be so hard. She had very little help from the hospital where she birthed, and outside of the pediatrician appointment, she had essentially no postpartum medical support.

I listened and helped her slow her pace when her story started to recapitulate her overwhelm. I gently encouraged her to take a pause, take a breath. I would probe her with more specific questions as needed, and held a container to truly listen and attune to her. I could feel her nervous system through the phone without even having to be in contact with her body or in physical proximity to her—all part of the process as a craniosacral therapist. After she relayed her birth story to completion, I said I could come see her the next day, and that I would drive to her home. She was relieved to know she didn’t have to pack up her baby to go out for another appointment.

I packed up my massage table, my medical gloves, and off I went the next morning. When I arrived, I was greeted by her whole family, her mother and husband, grandpa too. I could feel the sense of anxiety riding in the air, the troops had been called in to help this mother and her babe. The anticipation for some sort of settling lay thick in the air. Of course, I realized the babe was very keen to all these emotional sensations riding through his parents and their surround.

Craniosacral Treatment

The very first thing I did after introductions was greet the little fellow. I said, “Do you know why I am here? Mommy called me and she needs some help. She says you and her aren’t sleeping so well, and you aren’t able to feed with comfort or ease. So, I am here to hear your story. Is that ok with you?” I paused. Acknowledgement of the baby is a crucial step with mother-baby DYADs. Very few people realize that babies are fully conscious, sentient beings. Yes, their nervous system and body has leap years of growth and development ahead, but they can sense everything around them. I let my eyes soften into their sockets. I intentionally settled my being, touching in with my sacrum, my root chakra, feeling my feet sturdy on the floor. I traced my spine up the vertical axis and moved my mind’s eye to my crown chakra. I noticed my front, my back, my sides and my insides. I started to track my own craniosacral rhythm—a skill you can use to follow the movement of your cerebrospinal fluid, a term used in our industry as primary respiration. The whole point is to slow down my nervous system and enter in a state of dynamic homeostasis—alert, aware, while calm and relaxed—a state of neutrality. All babies have nervous systems that are underdeveloped compared to an adult. They process their worlds much slower than adults do, so it’s important to be cognizant of the activity in and around their space.

Functional Bowen Therapy

The babe could sense my state of being, and he began to relax. I asked his permission to do a body assessment. His throat and neck were tight, and he had restricted mobility in his arm and shoulder. I worked his fascia using Bowen Technique I had learned from Judy Terwilliger. Often, in-utero positioning and the birth itself can cause muscles to stiffen or muscular patterns to develop that restrict natural movements. I worked his mouth, jaw, neck, cranium, side body, hips, shoulders, knees while talking to him. The family began to drop into a deeper space after about 15 minutes. I talked very intentionally and at a set tone and cadence. Then I asked mom to get positioned on the couch with babe in arms. I held her lumbar spine and her shoulder, while she held the babe. We sat for 10 minutes or so and I just listened and felt her rhythms in her body. I could feel heat discharging from her sacrum, and the babe was releasing heat as well. He drifted off to sleep at her breast.

Belly Messages

After this bit of time, I asked mom to share how she had envisioned her birth for her son. I asked her to let her son know that she was scared at certain points and that it wasn’t his fault. This type of tool is called Belly Message, or Infant Coherent Narrative, a technique I learned from a prenatal and perinatal somatic therapist, Kate White.

I acknowledged to the sleeping babe that he may have been scared too, but that they had both made it. The mom really wanted to know if she should get a tongue-release for her son. She was terribly concerned, frightened, and overwhelmed. So, we made a transition in the therapy at that moment.

Polarity Therapy Two-Chair Method https://youtu.be/V_PFkmRzZYY

I had Dad come hold the babe, and I asked Mom to sit on the couch. We positioned an empty chair directly across from her. I instructed her on the Two Chair Method used by John Chitty and the principles of Polarity Therapy. I asked Mom to sit on the couch as herself, and that I would instruct her to switch from the couch to the empty chair. Once she was in the empty chair, I wanted her to imagine that she was her child. I let her know I would ask her questions and she would need to respond with the proper perspective, as her child in the chair, and as herself on the couch. And so, it begun.

She sat as mom on the couch, and I proceeded to ask her, “What is troubling you most right now about your son?”

She replied, “I don’t know why he can’t breastfeed and if I should go forth with a frenectomy procedure.”

I said, “Switch.” She transitioned to the chair, and I gave her a moment.

I prompted her that she was now her son, and I asked her to feel her seat, feel her body, and just breathe. Then I asked her, “What would you like to tell your mom?”

She thought for a moment and replied, “I want my mom to know that she already knows what is best for me.” I told her to switch.

She shifted and settled on the couch, I asked her to repeat the sequence of feeling her feet, noticing her seat on the couch, feeling her back, and to just breathe. I then said, “What do you notice in your body when you hear, ‘I want my mom to know that she already knows what is best for me’? She sighed. Tears welled up into her eyes. She said, “I just didn’t realize birth would be so hard for me and him, and breastfeeding has been so hard, and I keep spinning in my head all of these questions, but when I hear this, I feel a deep settling. I feel my body. I feel my chest relax, and heat spreads from my heart into my shoulders.”

I ask, “What happens next when you feel this settling in your body?”

She says, “I can feel the truth for my son and me. I do not think he needs a tongue-tie procedure.”

Craniosacral Therapy with Three Layers of Support

I ask for Dad to come sit next to Mom. All three of them cozy up on the couch. I have Mom lean back into Dad’s arms with her whole body laid up on the couch. Dad cradles Mom and babe. I sit and ground myself, and we just sit in silence as I start to track their “tides”, the primary respiration movement I referred to earlier. Baby is at the center while Mom holds baby, and Dad holds Mom, and I hold the three of them. After a few minutes, it is as if time stands still. The room opens up into a large, open space. The air seems lighter, and the room seems brighter as the three of them float into a plane of Peace. Their bodies release the emotional overwhelm through heat and quivering in the fluid field and muscle tissue. They come to rest in a regulated, parasympathetic state in their nervous system. Their heart beats fall into resonance and an emergent quality of synchronicity shapes the quantum field all around us. Babe sleeps on.

I wrap up the session and ask them to take a few moments to look around the room, making eye contact with different objects. I go over body stretches for them to do on a regular basis with their son for the next few weeks to help loosen up his muscles and increase the mobility of his jaw and tongue. We set up our next appointment for the following week. I go on my way.

The mom texted me the following day that their son slept through the night with just two feedings, and he fed at the breast. She sounded empowered with a sense of knowing.

I realize this was a simple story, but one that is often repeated for newborns. I often deal with much more complicated stories, but ultimately, most all mothers go through this transitional time. Mom and babe just need someone to really hear their stories, help them pace their nervous system, hold them in a container of love and support, help them integrate moments of overwhelm during their birth story, work out trigger points in the muscles, help the cranial bones align properly, and help the mother trust her instincts. Mothers always know what is right, if they just take the time to pause, breathe, and tap into their inner selves.  Craniosacral therapy is a gentle form of treatment that allows for all of these natural processes to take place.